哈哈，看看美国律师

问题多

<P><SPAN lang=EN-US>They are from a book called <B><I>Disorder in the American Courts</I></B> and are carefully recorded quotations, taken down and now published by court reporters who had to retain their calm while these exchanges were taking place.&nbsp;</SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" /><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Yes. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: I forget. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>he doesn't know about it until the next morning? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: black"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: black"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Are you shitting me? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: black"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Yes. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Getting laid. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: black"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Yes. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: How many were boys? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: None. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>attorney? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: black"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: By death. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Take a guess. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: black"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: black"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>notice which I sent to your attorney? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>people? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?&nbsp;&nbsp; What school did you go<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>to? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Oral.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>pulse? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: No. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: No.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: No. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>&nbsp;began the autopsy? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: No. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>&nbsp;nevertheless? <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US>&nbsp;law.<o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P class=MsoPlainText><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: black"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></SPAN></P>

问题多

奇怪，明明在谈天说地贴的，怎么跑这来了？

shanyue

hahaha, waht an attorney!

新满人

不过我怀疑是否真实。试想如果律师都是这水平，美国也就不是美国了。不排除个别人的确有个别的行为如此。

夏凉

反正律师就是刷嘴皮子，不把你绕晕，也得把自己绕晕。嘿嘿

澳洲大头

哈哈。。。。笑死人了。。。。。。

大家拿

哈哈，结尾尤其精彩！

社员甲

原帖由 <i>大家拿</i> 于 2009-2-9 07:44 发表 <a href="http://www.gong-she.com/discuz/redirect.php?goto=findpost&amp;pid=39436&amp;ptid=2686" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.gong-she.com/discuz/images/common/back.gif" alt="" border="0"></a>
哈哈，结尾尤其精彩！

<br><br><br>勒死我了！<br>